Welcome to our coverage of WWE Survivor Series, let’s hope this PPV is better than the disaster that was Cyber Sunday. Live coverage begins at 8PM ET/5PM PT. Remember to refresh your browser for the latest updates.

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Triple Threat Match for ECW Championship

CM Punk (c) vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

The Miz looks way too happy to be holding the Tag Team Championship, maybe he smells job security for the moment. Punk is double teamed by the tag champions in the early stages of the match but quickly takes over with a double suicide dive to the outside. Morrison and Miz taking turns getting the shit kicked into each other by CM Punk. Miz pulls Punk off the apron and Punk’s spine goes splat, must have sucked. Near fall city, crowd beginning to get into the match. Attempted GTS blocked by Morrison who is knocked to the outside only for The Miz to suffer it seconds later allowing Punk to score the pin and retain the title. OK match, zero heat from crowd.

Michael Cole and JBL recap MVPs attack on Matt Hardy on Friday Night Smackdown. We are then treated to a MVP interview performed by a piece of wood. Matt Hardy will not compete in the Survivor Series match later tonight.

10 Diva Tag Team Match

Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Melina, Victoria and Layla Vs. Mickey James, Maria, Torrie Wilson, Michelle McCool and Kelly Kelly

I would like to take this moment to talk about something that is really serious, something that effects us all. I am talking about the sickening actions of one Mark “I’ll fuck anything with a pulse” Danger. This man(yet to be proven) has been accused in the past of horrific crimes against humanity and Ric Gillespie. But now his spree of rape and never calling back has reached new lows as documented in this news story. Mark is using an alternate name to hide his identity but i worked it out: Mark Danger’s Latest Victim.

Please don’t let your children emulate this individual, thank you. In other news, Melina botched her entrance so that’s never a good omen for a divas match.Team Mickie wins after mouth fucking Melina for the pin.

Backstage skit with William Regal, Johnathan Coachman and Hornswoggle. Hornsswoggle not looking forward to his match with The Great Khali…that makes two of us.

World Tag Team Championship Match

Cade and Murdoch (c) vs. Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes

The crowd = ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! They and myself do not give two fucks about this match. Holly and Rhodes control the match early on. Trevor Mudoch just hit a Yakuza kick on Cody Rhodes…the man is talented, it’s just a shame no one in attendance cares. Near fall by Rhodes after a missile dropkick and seconds later he is pinned by Murdoch.

Some bullshit involving Todd Grisham and Team HHH building up…

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match

HHH, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio and Kane Vs. Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay and Big Daddy V

Things are off a flying start as Kennedy’s mic fails as he introduces himself. I guess no one told any of the children in the crowd that DX reuniting was a one off deal as they are still throwing up the X with glow sticks, stupid fuckers. Rey and Kennedy get things underway. Gotta love static on a live broadcast, damn satellites. Hardy and Rey hit Poetry In Motion as Kennedy does what he does best…nothing. MVP hurts himself kicking Jeff Hardy in the back. Big Daddy V is now in the ring, god help Jeff. The monsters are going at it as Kane and Big Daddy V whale on each other. Kane is eliminated after the Abdullah elbow drop. Huge HHH chants as he steps in against Umaga. Rey enters the match and hits the 619 on Umaga for a close 2 count. Umaga comes back with a huge swinging sidewalk slam and Rey is gone leaving HHH and Jeff Hardy against all five members of Team Umaga. MVP is eliminated by Jeff Hardy leaving 4 on 2. Big Daddy V tried to stop a pin attempt on Mr. Kennedy but ends up killing his own team mate and HHH capitalises and Kennedy is gone which makes it 3 on 2. Big Daddy V celebrates by squashing Jeff Hardy into the ring post. Double suplex on Big Daddy V is enough to even up the sides at 2 a piece. Finlay has taken control of Jeff Hardy, grounding the high flyer. HHH reverses the Celtic Cross into a pedigree and eliminates Finlay leaving only Umaga to win the match for his team. HHH hits the pedigree and Jeff scores with the Swanton Bomb to eliminate Umaga and win the match for his team. Good match, nothing offensive at all so no complaints from me.

They simulate the Hell In A Cell match in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008, basically a plug for the game.

Hornswoggle is pacing the GM’s office while Coach and William Regal look on when Vince McMahon walks in and explains why he is booked his offspring in a match with Khali. Basically he wants to see Hornswoggle overcome the odds and prove he is a warrior and a McMahon. He is still going to die in my opinion but i guess we will see.

Khali’s signature move is The Giant Vise Grip according to the Tale of The Tape…WTF is a vise?

SHANE MCMAHON IS IN THE HOUSE~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~! He introduces Vince to the ring. Shaquille O’Neal is also in the crowd.

Hornswoggle vs. The Great Khali

Khali’s translator asks the referee to go over the rules of the match in a obvious time killing skit pre match. Vince is interacting with Shaquille O’Neal. Khali shouts at Hornswoggle and he runs off. Hornswoggle spits green mist in Khali’s translator’s face, Tajiri sheds a tear. After more hi-jinks, Khali is bored and lands a shot on Hornswoggle. Finlay interferes as Khali is going for the vise or VICE grip for the DQ saving Hornswoggle and gets a HUGE reaction from the crowd.

WWE Championship Match

Randy Orton (c) vs. Shawn Michaels

If HBK uses or attempts to hit Sweet Chin Music, he will be DQ’d immediately and never get another shot at the WWE Championship as long as Orton holds the belt.

If Randy Orton gets DQ’d, he loses the WWE Championship to HBK.

HBK grabs an early advantage. HBK nearly motions for Sweet Chin Music but stops himself. Right now he is clinging to Orton’s back like a monkey, Ric i’m sure is jealous. Headlock city = ZZZ! Finally some action as Orton manages to escape to the outside only to be hit with a springboard moonsault. Orton now has control after beating HBK back into the ring. Sharpshooter applied by HBK, ah memories. Orton reaches the ropes and the hold is broken. Momentum is swinging back and forth. Shawn is tuning up the band for…a roll up which gets a 2 count. HBK is challening Chris Benoit as he applies the Crippler Crossface to Orton. Unlike Daniel, Orton managed to escape to safety and the match continues. Now HBK is chanelling Kurt Angle by using the ankle lock in the centre of the ring but once again Orton manages to break the hold. Orton hits the RKO after Shawn again tries to use Sweet Chin Music and turns his back. Orton is still WWE Champion. Orton post match sets up HBK in a corner and screams at him to admit that Orton is the better man but Shawn hits the superkick instead. Good match, they played up the stips pretty well, both guys worked hard and entertained the crowd.

SAVE US_22 promo airs…Jericho returns tomorrow night on Raw.

Hell In A Cell for World Heavyweight Championship

Batista (c) vs. The Undertaker

Undertaker gets a huge pop and flames for his entrance. We are off to a fast start with no man dominating. Taker tries chokeslam early on but no joy, instead goes to the outside and finds a chair. Batista hits a spear knocking chair out of Taker’s hands. Taker grates Batista’s head on the cell, still no real dominance. Now we have dominance, Taker drives Batista throat first on top of chair and he is coughing up blood. Undertaker going after the damaged throat now with chokes. Batista reverses Old School into spinebuster for two count. Undertaker whipped into cell, Batista beginning to gain momentum. Momentum shifts again as Batista busted open after chair shot and being used as a javelin by Undertaker. TRIANGLE CHOKE ATTEMPT BY UNDERTAKER~! World’s Worst Dive performed by Undertaker as he turns mid dive and hits Batista with his ass. Batista kicks ring steps out of Undertaker’s hand and busts him open. Both guys are bleeding all over the place. Taker hits The Last Ride but doesn’t hook the leg resulting in just a two count. Tries his luck with a chokeslam…only two again. Attempts a tombstone but is reversed into a pin by Batista for two count. Batista brings a table into play and hits the Batista Bomb through it for close 2 count. Now the ring steps are in the ring and Batista tries another powerbomb but is reversed and he eats them. Undertaker scores with a Tombstone but only for another 2 count and proceeds to Tombstone him on the ring steps. That must’ve sucked! EDGE IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he creams Undertaker with a TV camera. He was posing as a crew member. Edge hits the one man con-chair-to on the ring steps and lays Batista on top of Undertaker to score the pin and retain. Post match as Undertaker is getting to his feet, Edge lays him out with a vicious chair shot.

A good PPV, nothing too horiffic. That’s all from me fuckers. Thanks for reading and good night!

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